We are our own worst critics. I know that is 100% true for me. (I even took an assessment at work for a Leadership program that validates this). I focus on what I want to fix and make better more than I do on what is working for me and the positives in myself. This applies to my emotional, mental, intellectual and physical beings For this post, I would like to focus on the physical because well as a female, I am sure I am not alone in what I would like to share.
I cannot remember a time that I was ever feeling truly confident in my own skin. Maybe when I was about 30 or 31 and had lost about 12 lbs and had a solid tan going. (you can take a girl out of Jersey…) Other than that, any confidence is typically short lived. I have a trained eye that hones in on my imperfections and hardly ever notices the good qualities. Even recently, when I lost almost 3% body fat I still wasn’t satisfied. In a recent quest to get my photos organized, I have been stumbling across pics of me throughout the last few years and can find something I don’t like in any one of them. Or if I do like the way I look in the pic, I assume it’s a fluke or just a really good camera angle.
Here is the perfect example. Recently, a friend of mine took a picture post WOD. I was sporting shorts (which for those who know me appreciate that this is a big deal. I had never been a fan of them as they aren’t typically the most flattering thing to wear). Anyways, I was looking at the pic later (ok maybe not so much looking and more like meticulously inspecting). I was wondering if my legs really looked as lean and toned in “real life” as they do in the picture. Being the total freak that I am, I texted my friend to ask her. She quickly responded and basically told me I am nuts and yes they always look like that. (a good friend gives tough love).
There will always be parts of my body that I want to somehow alter, whether it is to get leaner, get more toned or whatever else I can possibly do to change it. I don’t think I will ever be satisfied with my physical appearance. It’s not from being a perfectionist, it’s from being female. Female in a world where we put so much emphasis on the physical. I know rationally that I should be happy in my own skin. I have two legs, two arms, and I can move about unrestricted. I know that while I may see what is imperfect, others see the positives. While I may see someone else who I wish I could somehow magically transform into, chances are there may be a person from time to time that crosses paths with me that says the same thing.
My point is… I.. WE need to learn to accept ourselves the way we are. Yes we can still strive to improve but we shouldn’t devote all our energy and time to the point that we are beyond obsessed and miss life around us.