I blogged recently about lessons learned in 2015. Along those same lines, here are some other things that made this past year educational and informative. Oooh we are going to get deep. Get ready!
- Tough decisions sometimes need to be tackled like removing a band aid: Stop avoiding it and pull it off fast. Often your gut instinctively tells you what you need to do but you chose to ignore that. Or justify the opposite of what your gut is saying because change is hard. So stop worrying about it and just do it.
- You can’t get what you want without letting something else go. Life is a give and take. Some examples are more obvious than others. You want to lose weight well you may have to sacrifice your favorite meals or late nights to allow time to hit the gym. You want a new car well then you need to give up dinners out to save money. You want to feel happy well then you need to remove yourself from negative people and things in your life. It is such a simple formula yet not always easy to implement.
- It is ok to not take on other people’s stuff. Yes we want to be loyal and good friends and be there for someone else. There is an important distinction though between being there for someone versus letting their negativity be toxic to your well being. I pride myself in being a sounding board for friends and a sanity check for them. I love doing that for my friends when they recognize their own accountability in a situation or are on a path to getting to a better place, whatever that means to them. I do not however care much to be around negativity that does nothing but bring me down. I have fought so much throughout my life to try to be as positive as I can because I spent much of my existence being a glass half empty kind of gal. I do not want to revert to that and know how easily that could happen if I am around the wrong company or take on other people’s stuff.
- If something doesn’t feel good or right to you, just don’t do it. Like I wrote in my other blog, what worked for you yesterday may not work for you tomorrow. So stop agonizing over trying to fix it or make it right. Sometimes it’s ok to walk away.
- People have a tendency to go into difficult situations or conversations with the wrong attitude. We expect the other person to meet us where we are and to just take and agree with everything we say. Then of course we are floored when a conversation escalates and are appalled that the other person didn’t “get it.” Try going into a conversation with a let’s meet half way attitude. If you truly want to resolve conflict, you need to accept that the solution is probably not necessarily what you expect it to be. (One key take away I took from a work training recently is that sometimes the best solution is not one that you thought up on your own. It’s something two or more people came up with together. Why? Because you get their buy in. Without buy in, it’s very difficult to achieve an agreeable outcome).
- Have more empathy people! I have been talking about getting buy in and being perceptive of other people’s feelings. It feels pretty shitty when someone dismisses how you feel or tells you how ridiculous you are being. You may not agree with how someone is feeling but it is not for you to dictate how someone else “should” feel. If someone is offended by something that you did that seems quite trivial, try first being, you guessed it, empathetic. Validate how they are feeling and it’s way more likely to have a more positive outcome.
So with that, start 2016 off right and get after what you want. Much love!