The First Person to Write Her Own Q&A

Ok since I am a big ole hypocrite, I am writing today after all! I posted on Facebook that I was taking a break from my blog, but atlas, it has drawn me in. Much of what I have been writing has been far too personal and possibly less than pleasant to post, at least right now. I decided to write a Q&A which is semi-ridiculous to write my own questions (but I never claimed to be totally normal). I did get a request or two that I incorporated and many are based on things I have been asked at some point in my life.

First, allow me to digress for one minute please, which speaks a bit to why I am re-evaluating the blogging I am doing. I struggle with posting what is real with what might be too personal (because my stories are not always just my own. Other people could be affected by them). I also feel like the unpleasant stuff that comes to mind for topics could easily spiral into sounding really salty and bitter, and I fear if people read that in isolation, they could misunderstand who I am at the core.

Anyways, one of the things I am finding is that my writing is very much tied to my career transition. It is it as much a journey in starting a business as it is in finding myself. I know, that sounds super cheesy (but it’s the real dang truth).

Much of what I feel like I am going through is like this shedding process. There’s an idea in life that I whole heartedly believe in that to get what you want, you have to give some things up. Right now, without even realizing I am doing it, I am giving up a lot of my own emotional baggage. I have to let go of being the person I was when I was in the corporate world in certain ways, like accepting that I cannot be as independent as I was.  I do require more help and support than ever before. I have to let go of so much of what I was taught ever since I can remember like follow security and always have a plan (even if it means not loving what I am doing). I have to give up spending time with people that either drain me or distract from my goals.

­It is heavy shit, guys. And while I consider myself to be sassy, sarcastic and sometimes light hearted, there is also a lot that is sort of dark that goes on in my brain on a regular basis.

And that is why I will try my hardest to not digress a million times in this post. (I make no guarantees though).

 

Q:  What brought you to California from New Jersey?
A: About 10 years ago, the company I was working for at the time was going to relocate me to Los Angeles. I was a Consultant and we had a new client in Edmonton, Canada. They flew me out here for a few days to look for an apartment . I had never been to Los Angeles before and instantly felt in love with it. I always felt it in my soul (for real) that I was meant to be on the West Coast. Well, it was decided that the journey to Edmonton from LA was not really as quick and easy to be doing on a weekly basis as we had thought so they did not sponsor my move out here. I did still make the move (on my own dime). And wouldn’t you know that as soon as I did, they decided to send me to Edmonton anyways. Nope. Not bitter about that at all.

Q: What has been the most surprising thing about the career transition you are making?
A: The emotions. Holy shit. I expected highs and lows, but I had no idea they would be as extreme and varied as they are. Some days I feel really positive and confident about my decision to start my own business and other days I feel really in-over-my-head and insecure about whether or not I am truly qualified to be doing this. I constantly have moments where I am so grateful and humbled by all the support and love I receive. I definitely have more moments of crying than I ever have which makes me feel like an 80 year old Jewish grandmother.

Q: What are your Top 3 for leading a fulfilled life?
A:  1. Given I am in a major transitional stage in life right now, the most glaring is to be true to myself. I could have chosen to stay in a job that did not light my soul on fire or I could have tried for the unknown with a higher chance for gratification. I also find when it comes to my business, I get a lot of (unsolicited) advice about what I should and should not do. And I take it all into consideration, but at the end of the day I have to do what  feels right for me even if it means making mistakes along the way.

  1. Balance. This could mean something different to each of us. I am by far more of an introvert than an extrovert. I love my own time and I do love being around other people, only when I feel it is quality and fulfilling. I am past the age of being around people out of obligation or taking in anyone else’s energy. Ok I digress. I also mean balance in terms of sticking to my health and fitness routine with doing things that are good for my soul.
  2. The people I surround myself to. It ties into a point I made relating to balance. It is so important to have positive people around me and not anyone toxic. I am beyond grateful for all the amazing friends and family I have in my life.

Q:  Wow, in the question above, it is surprising that “money” was not in the response. Why is that?
A: Huh, wouldn’t you know it? I am actually surprised because I do get stressed about money these days. Not because I am in any dire financial situation(yet), but the unknown of how I am going to start earning again (and how much) can freak a girl out.

Having said that, I guess though it is because money comes and money goes. And I have had many years of having plenty of it to do as I wish that will tie me over for the time being in terms of experiences and memories. I also am confident that despite having freak outs about money, I will start earning  it again.

And to the point above, I know that money is not everything. Having the security at my job and being paid regularly regardless of how little or how much I worked,  was wonderful, I will not lie. But I walked away from it because clearly  it is not everything.

Q: You have travelled to so many countries, about 30 perhaps? Which do you want to go back to?
A:
OMG Guatemala. I would go back to Lake Atitlan in a heartbeat. Being around so much gorgeous nature and so much spirituality, is something that always warms my heart when I think about it. It also was a yoga retreat which is ironic because if you know me, you know how much I really do not enjoy yoga. Despite that though, I experienced so many unique things.

Q: Are you still selling ketones? (For the record, I legit get asked this a few times a week).
A: Yes but more behind the scenes. It is not an income generator for me and I decided to do it more for fun (and finance my own ketone supply). I LOVE the products and being in ketosis. I still sell to people, I just do not post as often as I used to. It started to feel too salesy and icky. And the thing is too, I rather spend time promoting myself for my own business. Boom!

Q: What is the name of your business?
A: Patience, my friend. I’m hoping to launch my website over the next few weeks and that will be the big business name reveal.

Q: What foods can you not live without?
A: Avocados obviously which also means guacamole. Which leads to burritos (especially breakfast burritos). I would be so sad if I became allergic. Please god, don’t ever let that happen! And almond milk. Being lactose intolerant is super limiting and almond milk has been a savior. Oh, and those delicious vegan ice cream sandwiches at Sage, which I am completely craving right now and it is taking every ounce of self -control to not get in my car now and go.

Q: Who are your favorite people on the planet?
A: My nieces and nephews. I mean, I know I shouldn’t have favorites but well… They are adorable, loving, funny and always surprising me. And they make me want to be the best person in the world. I do not get to see them nearly enough so I cherish every little moment with them.

Q: Last question. What are 3 things about you that people may not know?
A: I am an award winning parallel parker, I am skilled at picking things up with my toes, and I can only wink my left eye.

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Calling in Good Karma: Gratitude of an Entrepreneur

Calling in Good Karma: Gratitude of an Entrepreneur

 

Foreword: As I get asked often how I am doing and where I am it in my new life, this is my current state. Warning: it is sappy.

 

The other day I received a text from my (former) cleaning lady just saying hi and that she hopes I am well. I realized that I may not have told her I had left my job (a little more info on that here)  and would be taking a break from her services, which hurts a lot. I have no shame in admitting that I loved having someone else clean my condo. I messaged her back about that and she responded that she wants to come clean for me without me paying. She was actually rather insistent and at that moment, without explanation, I started crying.

I kind of thought I was having a mini-meltdown and that I had finally lost my sanity. Like that was the moment that I was legit crazy. Why did that make me cry for fuck’s sake?

Was it that I had become a charity case?

No, I knew it was not that. I knew it was her way of saying thank you for what I had done for her over the years. I sent many friends her way that became her clients too. Also, anytime I cleaned and purged my condo (which I did dozens of times over the 7 years she cleaned for me) I gave her all of it.  I had stuff I did not need and I knew she would get it people who did. And I never thought twice about it or like it would be ill-received. Yet, when I know her gracious offer was done as a way of saying thank you, I almost refused to accept it.

And then I started thinking of all the kind things my friends and family have done for me since I left my job which resulted in more tears. I recalled all my friends who treated me to lunches, dinners and drinks when I passed the NASM Certified Personal Training exam. To my brother who flew me in on miles to see my family in December. To the friend who gave me a beautiful Christmas present as a thank you for all that I had helped her with as her mentor that year. To a friend who has an extra ticket to see The Book of Mormon who wants to take me, her treat. To my esthetician who has thrown in some complimentary services. To the owner of the CrossFit I joined asking me to write for their blog. Then to my cleaning lady’s offer. I lost it. I totally lost it.

And I realize and I know in my heart, nobody has offered or done any of these things, or the countless other things not mentioned, out of obligation or out of charity. They did it because either they are paying it back or because they just genuinely support me and want to see me succeed.

And that’s why I lost my shit.

One of the ironic things is I do not do favors or “acts of kindness” out of obligation. I consider myself highly loyal and won’t think twice about doing something for someone else. I do though to be frank, get put off whenever someone justs “expects” me to do something. If that makese sense. And I know that everyone who comes to mind as supporting me is the same. They are not doing anything thing because they feel like I expect it. They are doing it because they want to.

And that is why I keep crying when I try to wrap my brain around it. I know I am loved. And I know I am supported. There is just something about having it manifest in ways that I never dreamed of or expected. Because if there is one thing to know about me, it is this.  I have never been handed anything nor have I ever governed my life based on what I felt entitled to. I have had to work for everything I have ever had from money to relationships to my own happiness.

I have been given opportunities in my life, like jobs, that I had no real qualifications for. But I was offered them because people recognized my integrity and work ethic and I proved to them I was capable. And it is very much the same reasons why I am being given so much love right now. It is a reflection of who I am which is very humbling and extremely overwhelming.

There are certain times in life that we expect to receive things, like on birthdays. We expect to receive gifts and cards and dinners out and text messages wishing us all the best. And it is not that we take them for granted. But it is different when gifts in any form and acts of kindness happen when we do not expect them.

I have had said a million times since knowing I would be leaving the corporate world that I have been astonished at how much support I continuously receive. I have lost count of how many times people have told me I am brave or inspiring.  Every time someone tells me that or does something for me, the impact still affects me profoundly (and can be measured in tears!) And if anything, the more it happens, the more grateful and assured I become.

(Also, just a warning if you have not picked up on it yet,  basically if you do or say anything nice for/to me, you might turn me into a gushing emotional mess.)

I also know that all this love and support is validation that this whole new business venture, this new life is meant to be. It’s all going to be ok. Correction. It is going to be amazing.