When Did Social Media Become The Jerry Springer Show?

Ok ,soooo the title is a tad bit exaggerated but it got your attention, didn’t it?

I have no shame in admitting I love social media. For the most part.  Although, with social media being a quick and easy way to reach many people, there has become this acceptance or license to use it for a few different things that really, in my humble opinion, are beyond what the boundaries should be.


  1. Being overtly sexual.

Ok so just don’t do it. People generally do not want unsolicited comments and messages that are sexual. I wrote a whole post on that which is here.


  1. Medical diagnosis/advice.

It is one thing to ask for suggestions on things like what stretches to do for a tight hip flexor or asking if anyone has a recommendation for knee sleeves. It is another to detail symptoms of extreme pain in your back expecting someone to give a medical diagnosis. OVER SOCIAL MEDIA. What happened to calling our doctors and scheduling an appointment?


Comparing one’s symptoms to someone who comments is not exactly an approved way to diagnose. Just because someone has similar pains or symptoms does not mean their diagnosis are identical.


And I know people have the best of intentions in their comments, but they are not medical professionals. Go find out what is going on with you so you can heal and back to your regularly scheduled programming.


  1. Aggressively pushing your beliefs onto your followers.

I see a lot of posts about important topics that 100% should be socialized.  Often though, the commentary that someone posts along with it is this sort of “you are stupid if you do not agree with me” kind of mentality. (Politics and gun bans immediately come to mind). It is admirable to be passionate about a cause, but insulting one’s followers’ intelligence in an attempt to persuade them is 1) not effective 2) puts them on the defense and 3) is disrespectful.


Take vaccinations for example. I see a lot of posts from both camps: anti-vaccinations and pro-vaccinations for children. I personally, for the record as someone who has no kids, have no opinion on the matter which is why I am using this as an example.  If someone wants to sway people in the other camp, do so with kindness and education. Do not do it by telling them they are terrible parents if they do or do not vaccinate. Because again, 1) it is insulting 2) it is not effective and 3) it is disrespectful. Nobody wants to be told they are a bad parent and they are not likely to be open to considering anything after a comment like that.


  1. Publically bashing people.

There is this thing called diplomacy. It is ok to tell a story and give perception and insight, when done respectfully. I do this as much as I humanly can when I blog (because believe me, there are times I reference personal stories that it takes every ounce of my being to not let the New Jersey come out of me).


It is another thing to air dirty laundry, spew just pure hatred directed at someone and play the victim with the right to say anything and everything without a filter.


I for one do not want to see a public feud between supposed friends/family on Facebook (and sadly I have seen this many times). If someone has an issue with someone else, but cannot exercise diplomacy when in a public venue (because Facebook is public any way you look at it. It is not a conversation between 2 people when you have even just 1 follower).  Take it offline.  End of story.



  1. Rewarding bad behavior.


On Social media, often what happens in the case where someone, for example, publically bashes someone else, people who think it is a little crazy town most likely are just going to scroll right past it without commenting.  The people who do take the time to comment are buying into whatever the person is selling. Perhaps the person posting felt someone said something really rude to them or they had a big fight with their parent or friend or whatever it is. Again, if they are not telling a story or making a point respectfully and with diplomacy, they are likely victimizing themselves. And so people comment like “You are inspiring! The other person is the devil!” or “OMG you are so great! You are sooooo right to be sooooooooooo upset!”


They are not challenging them for the other details (aka the other side of the story and or the details that perhaps were conveniently left out). Nor are they saying, “Hey, maybe you should take that post down and go talk directly to your friend.” They are just validating whatever the person is saying and feeling. They are essentially rewarding bad behavior. And all that it does is make the person feel righteous.


I can totally go down a rabbit hole with this one. And I will.


It perpetuates the problem that people think it is ok to be unfiltered, hateful and acting victimized. We obviously cannot prevent people from posting such things. We can though opt to NOT comment on them. People posting like that WANT the attention. So duh, if they are not given attention, maybe they will stop posting.



There are always boundaries. There are things that make sense to do on social media and then there are things that cross the line into perverse, ignorance, hate, and lack of sensibility. I try to govern my life outside of social media by all that is good. Good energy, good people, good discussion and just plain old respect. Facebook can go so far past what is good that perhaps it can be reined back in a smidge or so.






Tainted Workout Experiences Diminish What Could Be Life Changing

For many people, it takes every bit of courage they have to show up to a gym or a yoga studio or a CrossFit class or whatever workout they have finally decided to try. For many, it is a triumph to get through the door. And for some, their first impression has them running like a bat out of hell right back out.

Customer service is a skill, a skill that not everyone has. To me, it is common sense. When it comes to fitness, it is all the more important to have that skill, ESPECIALLY for those people who it did take every bit of nerve they had to walk through that door. So. You show respect, you listen to what the other person says and you encourage. You do not belittle. You do not body shame. And you do not judge. At all. When it comes to health and fitness, someone’s first interaction is what can inspire them to want to take more steps when they have a positive experience versus what can traumatize them when it goes terribly wrong.

Let me tell you about my first CrossFit experience 6 years ago. Spoiler alert. It was awful, demoralizing and infuriating.

I was about 5 months out from a broken foot, prior to which I was doing high impact workouts like running and kickboxing. I tried to find a workout I could do while I was in a cast, but the thing about a cast is that you cannot get it wet. Working out results in sweating which can result in mold. Gross. So it was not an option. I was at one of my lowest points with a hella lot of life’s stresses yet I was not able to use my go-to therapy, fitness, to deal with it.

Needless to say when the cast came off 6 weeks later, I was ecstatic. I thought I could get back to my workouts, but go figure, that did not happen. I wanted to kickbox and run again like I did before I broke my foot, but I could not. I had so much muscle atrophy (my leg was half the size of the other) that anything involving my feet (i.e. everything) caused soreness, swelling and pain and just overall muscle fatigue. I was really frustrated because I probably gained 10 pounds (I lost almost all my muscle tone. Everywhere. Muscle tone that I worked my ass off to gain. So to say frustrated is an understatement).

I was at a loss as to how to get back into shape. A friend of mine, Nikki, who had been doing CrossFit a few years and had just started coaching, suggested CrossFit as it is totally scalable. She was really enthusiastic about it which got me excited about it too.

I found a CrossFit box to try out (a friend of a friend coached there), and so I set up a 1:1 consultation with the owner /coach. I was eager to go but also intimidated. CrossFit just sounded scary and I did not know what to expect. Well, what I did get was definitely not what I expected. Upon meeting him, I immediately got bad vibes from him.  It was very clear to me that he was one of the most arrogant, condescending, unqualified people the universe ever could have brought to me as an introduction to CrossFit.

He had me do a baseline workout that had rowing, air squats and push-ups. He was telling me repeatedly to go faster which I was not comfortable with as hello, I was recovering from an injury. My foot was sore. My knees were not properly aligned.  My stance was wide. I felt ridiculous. When I got done with the workout, he had the AUDACITY to tell me that my form was shit. Which mind you, not once did he give me any cues or guidance as to “how” I should be performing the movements. It was all “Move faster!” Super helpful, Guy.

And it got worse after that. He made repeated insulting comments about my height. For example, he asked if I wore heels all day to work and quickly said “well yeah of course you do. You are short.”

He asked me how I broke my foot, and as I was responding, I only got this far, “I was running—“

“Oh yeah no wonder you broke your foot running. 70% of runners have bad technique.”

“No, d-bag, I was not running recreationally. I was running in chunky flip flops through an airport to c catch a flight and rolled my foot.”

He made an assumption that I was a totally incompetent athlete and naturally my injury was due to my lack of skill. Prick.

At any rate, I could not get out of there fast enough. I walked out of there seething with anger and contempt. I was ready to write off CrossFit completely because this guy did a shit poor job of representing. And without any other benchmark, I was just done.

I talked to Nikki, and she was as appalled as I was. She reassured me that he was not representative of CrossFit and to not give up on it because of him.

Obviously, we all know my CrossFit journey did not end there. I am grateful I had the guidance from Nikki as I did indeed find another box with a polar opposite experience. The coaches understood my injury and my limitations. They were encouraging and positive. They were the true spirit in which CrossFit is intended to be. Coach D-Bag obviously should not be coaching or owning a box, and I was relieved to know everyone is NOT like him.

I feel fortunate though that I did not give up. I had enough confidence (and quite frankly, fury) to not allow one jack ass to make me think less of myself or my abilities. But the thing is, not everyone who has had a similar experience bounces back. For many, it truly is so traumatic, they give up completely. When you have an emotional and demoralizing experience, logic can shut down. While there are a million yoga studios and Pilate’s studios and CrossFit boxes, for someone who had trepidation to even show up, he/she is not likely to want to go to another. Our brains start to associate everything similar with one horrible experience, and the rest become guilty by association.

And so I share this story not for sympathy for me (as despite my bitter undertones, this was just a blip in my journey) but to bring awareness that this type of experience is NOT acceptable. And should you or someone you know find yourself in that situation, know that it is NOT necessarily a reflection on the sport/exercise as a whole. One person should not carry so much power to taint what could be a really important, life- changing step.


Strong, Beautiful Women: Handle It.


We are entering a year that is predicted to be THE YEAR of women’s power rising. I strongly believe that. Yet, for as true as that may be, we are still fighting antiquated ideals and perceptions. One of them that has really been triggering something in me is how often the line between being complimentary and downright inappropriate still happens. I know this happens to men just as often as it does to women but for the sake of this blog, I’m referring primarily to men being inappropriate with women. It is also specific to social media. There are so many turns this subject can take, but for now, this is where my outrage, confusion and disgust are originating from.

Somewhere along the way as we celebrate women for their triumphs, their journeys, their fitness, and their bodies, there are men who seem to believe that those photos and videos that are posted on social media are personal invitations to warrant sending sexual messages. And this disturbs me on many levels.

I realize that as a society and culture we do have an unhealthy fixation on our physical appearances and a whole lot of body image issues to support that. The thing is though, there is so much campaigning against this that shows itself in so many forms. Women of all  shapes and sizes are sharing their stories which takes damn courage and bravery to do.  Scroll through your social media feed and notice how everyone looks different. We are no longer just paging through magazines where everyone seems to be the same or fitting into a mold that fashion dictates. We have this amazing ability with social media to showcase strength, beauty and vulnerabilities.  We have the ability to see what every day people are doing and not just celebrities and models.

My point is that all this celebrating should be just that: celebrating. It should not be an incitement for anyone to perceive that women are looking for sexual advances. And for anyone who says it is a shared responsibility between the person who posts and the people who view, I agree we should use discretion and we should be cognizant of the messages we are sending. Yet, this does not mean that it is ok for men to be downright creepy.

I can speak to personal experience based on what I post, and I can assure you I am never promoting sex or provocation. I am promoting myself, fitness, CrossFit, my story, my challenges, even ketones. Nowhere in there is a hint or suggestion that I appreciate messages from men telling me that they love how I look in yoga pants or to send them a picture of me doing a handstand in a bikini (and then he will buy what I am selling. Not a ketone slut, thanks). This shit really happens and I have NEVER insinuated that is the attention I want. If someone were to tell me I was “asking for it” or I have to expect that, I would strongly encourage them to rethink that.  For the majority of my audience, they are respectful. They even get inspiration from my posts and photos. This is the point. Most can handle a bicep flex or an amateur bathroom selfie of abs without taking that to mean I am being provocative. Why do I need to change my behavior? Why can’t the men who think they have free reign to say whatever insulting things they want, change their behavior?  And again, my “behavior” is not scandalous. I post with respect for myself and others.

I also get many comments and messages from men who know how to pay a compliment without me wanting to throw my laptop at them. It is quite easy to be respectful. Men can tell a woman she is pretty or that her fitness is inspiring or she looks great. And leave it at that. As most do. (Thank you to the good ones out there!)

So to be crystal clear, it is one thing to be complimentary and tell a woman you think she has a pretty smile or she looks strong or has great eyes. It is another thing to send a woman a message telling her you think she is sexy as fuck or asking if it is ok to send inappropriate photos.

Women are getting messages and comments from men with graphic photos, crude comments and slimy solicitations. And for the record (for those who ever think a woman is “asking for it” with her choices in clothing), it is not always what a woman is wearing or not wearing that leads to inappropriate messages. Women can post pictures in sweatshirts and baggy pants with a messy bun and men will still tell them they like their curves or want to know what they look like underneath all those clothes.

I used to joke that a job hazard of mine was getting sexually harassed every day, but I realize now it is not actually funny. Because it happens a lot. And not just to me. Women should be able to do their thing without fearing the response they get. I personally do not ever want to hear a post of mine “was asking for it” or that I have to expect the responses that I receive. I absolutely DO NOT. The solution should not be that women, tasteful respectful women, should have to censor themselves. The solution should instead involve that the men who think it is acceptable to be downright  bad-mannered, insolent creeps should be schooled to know it is not ok.

4 Reasons Athletes Stay at a CrossFit Box When Perhaps They Should Consider Switching

Foreword: I want to stress something key because I do not by any means want to sound self-righteous or like I know how to run a CrossFit box. I am basing this post on my own experiences and conversations I have had with many other CrossFit athletes.

I have blogged about why people leave CrossFit boxes (link here) and so it only makes sense to follow it up with reasons why people often stay, even if they really do need to leave.

  1. Loyalty. This is legit a common reason. Often members feel like they would be abandoning their box or owners or coaches by leaving. They have been there perhaps from the beginning or they feel that the they owe it to the box to stay. Perhaps they have seen gains or perhaps they are friends with the owner.

    Guilt comes along with loyalty and I totally get that. It is like any relationship or friendship. We feel like the other person stuck by us through some tough shit and it would make us pretty crappy people if now that we are not “in need” we are abandoning them.


  1. Athletes don’t know what “better” is.

    I see this often with first time CrossFitters. They love CrossFit and where they are but they also have no benchmark to compare it to. So they stay.

    For many, their first choice was stellar and they may be there until the end of time. Which is amazing. It just does not always happen like that for everyone.

    I bring this up because at some point for many athletes, they do get a taste of what else is out there. Often it is in the form of a drop in. Maybe athletes go home to visit and drop in at a local box. They start comparing that box to their own and notice the short comings (I like to refer to this as “box envy”). Maybe they experience more methodical, dynamic warm ups that they do not get at their home box. Maybe they notice the coaches are giving far more specific cues. Maybe it is the physical space and they are jealous of the high ceilings for rope climbs. You get the idea. It can be a million difference reasons that attribute to box envy.


  1. Fear of losing the community we have come to love.

    I have experienced this and I have heard people say the same countless times.  “I am not happy anymore at this box, but I do not know want to lose the friendships and community I have built here.” And I think there are a few ways to look at this.

    Evaluate your goals. Are your goals being met even if perhaps the environment leaves something to be desired? Can you reach your goals if you stay even if it means having to compromise on something else to stay with your community

    People and circumstances in life are fluid. This is just a given. It is like when we stay at a job even if we hate it, but loves our boss. And then that boss leaves and we feel shafted. I look at it like yes the people we are around are extremely important, but the fear of losing them is not always a reason to stay. We get very comfortable with our workout buddies and coming into any class and feeling familiar. Anyone in your community though could leave at any time. It just happens. I personally feel that it is a balance and if you truly are not happy or not getting out of CrossFit what you want, I do not think the community should necessarily be the thing that keeps you.

    Also, remember, the community you built, that did not happen overnight. You had to build that. And you can build it again.

    Guys, I get it. I’m a few days into my latest box change and I have not yet found my community. I think the other athletes are still trying to figure out what my deal is or if I am just dropping in from somewhere far ,far away. And that is totally cool. Camaraderie happens organically.


  1. We feel like we are “cheating” if we go for a test drive.

    There is guilt even before we make a decision to leave. Typically athletes want to have their next box lined up before making a switch. Naturally we start doing local drop-ins to kind of test drive other options. But heaven forbid the box we go to even has an inkling that we are thinking of switching. We fear being ostracized or not coached (because why should they bother investing in us if we are half way out the door?) And so often we just stay. We stay out of fear of being almost devalued. We do not even look because of this fear.

    In my humble opinion, if that does happen, that your box sort of turns on you, then take that as a sign you DEFINITELY should be switching boxes. I have had both experiences.  I have had an owner who wanted to know why I was leaving so he could make some changes and address them. And I have had owners who were basically like “ok cool got you cancelled.”  (aka don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out).

    This personally has never stopped me from looking around. I am on my 4th box (and I really believe this could be “the one”). If anything I had actually been fairly vocal about it this time around which thank goodness I was. The box I have switched to was not even on my radar as an option, and because I had posted in a Facebook group about looking for a box, one of the owners actually reached out to me. So sometimes, you just have to get over the fear because that could potentially prevent you from finding what you really need.


Deciding to do CrossFit in and of itself is not a trivial thing. Many of us CrossFit because we want to be the best versions of ourselves. We want to constantly push ourselves beyond what we think we are capable of. We CrossFit because we want to be healthy, fully functional people at all ages. We CrossFit because our health and fitness are freakin important.

Switching boxes is also not a trivial thing.  I cannot stress enough the importance of being at the right box for YOU. Switching boxes multiple times does not make you needy or high maintenance. It is you recognizing what your needs are at that point in time. What you needed last year may not be what you need today. There should be no shame in making a decision to leave a CrossFit for another because at the end of the day you only get one body, one brain, one life. You have every right to do what is best for you even if you feel that there may be some drama or baggage associated with it.  I say screw it because nobody can tell you what is right for you but you.

From Airplanes to Harassment, Enough With Acting Entitled


The older I get, the more refined I have become at who I let into my world. Energy is a real thing for me and I strive to only be in the presence of nothing but the best, most authentic energy. I am surrounded by people who do great things regularly and who are innately good natured people. So when it comes to the little world in which I live, I feel like as humans, as a species, we are winning.

If you take me out of my little bubble though, I often question if as humans, are we really winning? (and now I sound like Carrie Bradshaw).  Try driving in LA. You will know exactly what I mean. There are so many times that I feel like collectively we are not so evolved and are actually taking steps backwards instead of forwards. Which makes me sad. And I know not one miniscule blog from little ole me will catapult us forwards, but perhaps it will inspire us to act differently or not tolerate the losing behaviors when we see them.

I write this as I am sitting on a BIG 777 flying across country so we all can be home with our loved ones for Thanksgiving. We all should be nothing short of appreciative and kind, right? We are until the boarding process commences. And I admit this is one of my biggest pet peeves ever because I pack extremely efficiently. Nothing makes me more livid than having to check my tiny bag when I see people’s umbrellas, jackets, and laptop bags taking up valuable real estate in the overhead bins. And yes I get it, some people are tall (something that is totally foreign to me) and they need the space under their feet. This is not usually what is going on.

I bring this point up because it reminds me that so many of us just feel entitled. We feel entitled to take up more space than someone else just because we can or boarded first (despite that this is controlled by the airline). We feel entitled to cut someone off on the elevator because they did not step on fast enough. We feel entitled to jump to the front of a line at the grocery store because we just came out of a yoga class and are rushing to pick up our kid up from daycare as soon as we pay for a few items (yes I went there). We feel entitled to that promotion at work because after all, we took every training available and clearly that makes us qualified (when perhaps performance and qualifications are lacking). We feel entitled to say whatever we want because we cannot be bothered to filter what comes out of our mouths even at the expense of (which is not just entitled but seriously bad communication skills).

So yeah… there is a common theme of feeling entitled. And feeling entitled is not winning.


I recently saw a post on Facebook from a guy who was essentially making light of all the recent sexual harassment charges in Hollywood. His post was to the effect of how the charges have gotten so out of control, that soon a guy won’t be able to say hi to a girl without that being considered sexual harassment. Ok really dude? Innocently saying “hi” to someone is nowhere near the same as inappropriately soliciting someone for sex or forcing oneself on someone. So yeah, being ignorant and insensitive ­­­­is not winning.

I also do not think it is winning for anyone to post things that objectify woman (the things I have seen about men making references to women being good for cooking and sex only make my skin crawl). I do not think it is winning to post with pride about getting put in Facebook jail for calling someone a faggot on a public page. (And for the record, I unequivocally loathe that word and even typing it makes me feel like a horrible human). I do not think it is winning to praise a president for wanting to ban Muslims and basically anyone who is not White from entering the United States. I do not think it is winning to body shame anyone. I do not think it is winning to bully anyone. Ever.

I do not think being stagnant or complacent is winning either. It might bring contentment and status quo. Perhaps that works for some, but it does not for me. That is why I personally do things like CrossFit and blogging.  CrossFit keeps me challenged (physically and mentally), disciplined, and aware of myself and even those around me. Blogging forces me to be very cognizant of the words I chose. I am a firm believer that in communication, the responsibility of what message is heard is very much that of the person speaking (or writing).

We all have the ability to influence other people. We may not reach as many people as a celebrity or public figure does, but we reach those in our own worlds which is pretty freaking powerful. We can influence others to not be stagnant. We can influence others to not dismiss conflicts or even others’ emotions.

Winning to me is to being so aware of people around us. To me that is the common theme in this blog, in all my seemingly disjointed points. Winning is to realize the power we really do have, albeit small or big, and more importantly not abusing it. Winning is being respectful of others whether it is when you board a plane or how you choose to treat someone else. Winning is a choice. Strive to think about others. Strive to correct those who do not. We need it now more than ever.


You Do Not Have to be Ellen DeGeneres to Be Inspiring

Foreward: Guys for the record, I adore Ellen.

With my recent “little” changes in life (i.e. leaving a corporate job to start my own business), I am constantly humbled by the support I am receiving. I know I have said it like a thousand times but it needs to be said. Not to toot my own horn but to remind us ALL of a few really key, mind blowing things. Ok mind blowing may be an exaggeration. Let’s say reverberating then.

Someone I have come to know through Facebook sent me a very endearing message. While this is not someone I have met in “real life”, I do believe in the power of connecting with people even if it’s in cyber space somewhere.  Anyways, he reached out to me today to tell me this:

Doesn’t mean much to you but I’m proud of you. Happy to see you chasing your dreams. Honored to call you a friend.

Ok so first things first… I do not think we should EVER diminish the value that our words have on someone else. We under estimate the power or impact we can have on someone else just by taking 4.3 seconds to type a genuine message. (Which also is the case with messages that are mean spirited. Pick your words carefully).

When we speak from the heart, the message is heard loud and clear. If I just got a generic message like “good luck in your endeavors” then yeah perhaps I would not have thought much of it. For anyone to take the time, even if it takes 4.3 seconds to do, it’s still 4.3 seconds that someone took to send love and support. Which I don’t care who you are, like me, you need it.

Which also leads me to my next point.  When you have news, share it. I know for many of us, we are private (as am I with certain topics and details). But it’s like there’s this idea of shared energy or something. When you are excited, happy, unstoppable, that is what you are putting out there and so that is what you get back. Energy is infectious and when you have things happening, I say share share share! The love and support you will receive in return will only manifest your dreams and ideas that much faster. I can tell you the more people I share my plans and accomplishments and hopes and desires with, the more open I feel. And so it is no wonder I am getting validation from the most unexpected people telling ME I am an inspiration.

Which leads me to my next point. I have to say, being told I am inspiring has a whole lot of pressure attached to it. Knowing I am a person of interest (guys I am kidding. My ego is not that big)… Seriously though, knowing that my choices and actions are inspiring anyone humbles me like nothing I have ever experienced. The pressure kicks in because I do have fears which are scary to be exposing. Like what if I do not pass my Personal Training certification after posting about it for 3 months?  Or what if I launch a business that that flops? How is that inspiring?

The thing is though, I do have those thoughts for like a split second (which yeah happens more than just from time to time), I have to remind myself that like the idea of shared energy, if I keep fearing it, I am putting it out to the universe that I will fail. Which is NOT an option. So I instead shift my thinking to I WILL  pass my certification (which will not just happen by luck. I will be putting in the time studying and getting prepared). My coaching business will be successful, fulfilling, magical and inspiring. It is all about mindset. There is no room for negative thinking.

I also am realizing from my friend’s message today that the idea of being inspiring is not about being perfect. Being inspiring means being real. It’s being honest. It’s being human. It’s ok to have triumphs and it is also ok to fall. Nobody is perfect and being inspired by anyone that is seemingly perfect is just disappointment waiting to happen. I am not pretending that I know exactly what I am doing. I know what I may do today. I do not even know literally what I am doing tomorrow. This is why I am inspiring people. I am truly taking a road to a destination that is somewhat lucid yet there is literally no playbook or road map to get me there. I am trusting in myself and timing and the universe to guide me. I put on my big girl pants every day (well except the days I need my neighbor to come over and kill a water bug for me) and I just do.  That is why people find me to be inspiring.

And another thing about that. We all have the ability to do what I am doing. I am no different than you. In fact, I am probably very much like you. It took me years and a whole lot of stress and anxiety to get to a point where I accepted that I needed to make a change in a really big way. It is just getting to that point that is separating me from you or anyone else. As my niece would say, I am being brave. You can too.



Does Anything Good Come From Getting on a Scale?

When it comes to weighing myself, I either do it obsessively or I do not do it at all. When I am in the former mode, I’ll weigh myself when I wake up. I’ll weigh myself a half later after I drink water. I’ll weigh myself after I workout. I’ll weigh myself after I have a BM (oh don’t act appalled, you know what I mean and I bet you do it too!) I will weigh myself every single day. I become completely obsessed with it to the point of being unhealthy.

At some point though what usually happens is even after the pounds start coming off, the scale starts going back up. I become more obsessed and neurotic. It is ridiculous, especially when the reality is muscle weighs more than pounds. Still the actual number tends to haunt me. Forever.

And so then I stop weighing myself altogether. For a year. Until the day comes that I cannot avoid the scale anymore because well, the nurse who is taking my vitals for my annual check-up does not give me an opt- out option.

This is what happened this past Friday. I stepped on the scale at the doctor’s office and closed my eyes telling myself I am better off not knowing. I hopped off but at the last second, I snuck a peek. Ok, my number was the same it was last year, if not a pound less. Which I deducted an extra  ound for clothes (and another few pounds for my incredible personality). So really, I was about 4 pounds less than last year.

I realized that not knowing is not bliss. It is just straight up denial, good or bad. I always have goals when it comes to health and fitness. Sometimes it is to learn a new skill at CrossFit. Sometimes it is to train for a race. Sometimes it is to lose x number of pounds. Not knowing my weight really does not coincide with having goals. There sometimes is a correlation to what we weigh and what our fitness goals are. I know in the past, I have improved in gymnastics stuff when I have dropped a few pounds (it is a lot easier to move my weight around a bar for pull ups or do Hand Stand Push Ups when I am carrying a few less lb’s).  With a race, the number is a reflection of the work I am putting I and a way to make sure that I am not putting in extra miles only to reverse that grueling work with the wrong food choices. ((I have a love hate relationship with running fyi).

Look, I saw my number and miraculously I was not traumatized. If anything, I am encouraged. I do go more off of how I look and subtle changes in my body whether it is getting leaner or building muscle. Those are the results I really strive for, far more than any number. If I am being totally honest, I still have plenty of work to do.

And I am realistic about what all that work will result in. I am not expecting to get down to 9% body fat or something ridiculous like that. I do not want to have the most restrictive diet that I am a hangry bitch all the time (that would not be good for my business). I just want to lose a few (maybe 5-10) pounds of fat, and I do not think that is out of the realm of possibility.

If this post speaks to you, then I encourage you to first and foremost be honest with yourself, which is probably the hardest and most uncomfortable step in a healthy journey. Far harder than the lifestyle changes you will make as a result of it. We all want to think we eat healthy and perfect. We all want to think we crush it in every work out. We all want to think we only drink alcohol moderately. We think we eat an “average” amount of carbs (when in actuality we are on an all carb diet yet cannot understand why we are not losing weight).

That’s where I am at. I am being realistic with myself. I am not about to go on some crazy restricted bodybuilder diet.  I will probably call in a favor from a nutritionist I know (good thing I have one in the family) to see how I can make tweaks to my eating. I also intend to incorporate some extra workouts (I will have that luxury of being on my own schedule in T-2 days!) That might just be a few extra minutes of abs a day or a few extra squats or a few miles of running.

I have to do what works for me and aligns with my goals. Everyone has to do what makes sense for them. It is why there’s a big shift from “dieting” to “lifestyle”.  You want to be able to sustain whatever changes you implement. We are all individuals, with different bodies, with different histories that we all need to be mindful and respectful of.

What works for one person may not work for someone else. Just because the man lifting weights next to you has gone on a high fat and low protein diet with intense weightlifting cycles does not mean that is what you need to do to bulk up. Or just because your neighbor is counting her macros and losing weight, that does not mean you have to. Or just because you go hit the stairs at a park and see someone climbing them 6 times, does not mean that is what you need to do to reach your goal.

So be honest with yourself with what your goals are. Get a realistic plan to reach them. Be open to tweaking and changing as you go. Yes, weigh yourself but do not let that be the only benchmark of your success. And if you need some help figuring this out, come talk to me. This is where I see myself helping people in my future business. (ahh yes slid in that last minute #shamelessplug).