The First Person to Write Her Own Q&A

Ok since I am a big ole hypocrite, I am writing today after all! I posted on Facebook that I was taking a break from my blog, but atlas, it has drawn me in. Much of what I have been writing has been far too personal and possibly less than pleasant to post, at least right now. I decided to write a Q&A which is semi-ridiculous to write my own questions (but I never claimed to be totally normal). I did get a request or two that I incorporated and many are based on things I have been asked at some point in my life.

First, allow me to digress for one minute please, which speaks a bit to why I am re-evaluating the blogging I am doing. I struggle with posting what is real with what might be too personal (because my stories are not always just my own. Other people could be affected by them). I also feel like the unpleasant stuff that comes to mind for topics could easily spiral into sounding really salty and bitter, and I fear if people read that in isolation, they could misunderstand who I am at the core.

Anyways, one of the things I am finding is that my writing is very much tied to my career transition. It is it as much a journey in starting a business as it is in finding myself. I know, that sounds super cheesy (but it’s the real dang truth).

Much of what I feel like I am going through is like this shedding process. There’s an idea in life that I whole heartedly believe in that to get what you want, you have to give some things up. Right now, without even realizing I am doing it, I am giving up a lot of my own emotional baggage. I have to let go of being the person I was when I was in the corporate world in certain ways, like accepting that I cannot be as independent as I was.  I do require more help and support than ever before. I have to let go of so much of what I was taught ever since I can remember like follow security and always have a plan (even if it means not loving what I am doing). I have to give up spending time with people that either drain me or distract from my goals.

­It is heavy shit, guys. And while I consider myself to be sassy, sarcastic and sometimes light hearted, there is also a lot that is sort of dark that goes on in my brain on a regular basis.

And that is why I will try my hardest to not digress a million times in this post. (I make no guarantees though).

 

Q:  What brought you to California from New Jersey?
A: About 10 years ago, the company I was working for at the time was going to relocate me to Los Angeles. I was a Consultant and we had a new client in Edmonton, Canada. They flew me out here for a few days to look for an apartment . I had never been to Los Angeles before and instantly felt in love with it. I always felt it in my soul (for real) that I was meant to be on the West Coast. Well, it was decided that the journey to Edmonton from LA was not really as quick and easy to be doing on a weekly basis as we had thought so they did not sponsor my move out here. I did still make the move (on my own dime). And wouldn’t you know that as soon as I did, they decided to send me to Edmonton anyways. Nope. Not bitter about that at all.

Q: What has been the most surprising thing about the career transition you are making?
A: The emotions. Holy shit. I expected highs and lows, but I had no idea they would be as extreme and varied as they are. Some days I feel really positive and confident about my decision to start my own business and other days I feel really in-over-my-head and insecure about whether or not I am truly qualified to be doing this. I constantly have moments where I am so grateful and humbled by all the support and love I receive. I definitely have more moments of crying than I ever have which makes me feel like an 80 year old Jewish grandmother.

Q: What are your Top 3 for leading a fulfilled life?
A:  1. Given I am in a major transitional stage in life right now, the most glaring is to be true to myself. I could have chosen to stay in a job that did not light my soul on fire or I could have tried for the unknown with a higher chance for gratification. I also find when it comes to my business, I get a lot of (unsolicited) advice about what I should and should not do. And I take it all into consideration, but at the end of the day I have to do what  feels right for me even if it means making mistakes along the way.

  1. Balance. This could mean something different to each of us. I am by far more of an introvert than an extrovert. I love my own time and I do love being around other people, only when I feel it is quality and fulfilling. I am past the age of being around people out of obligation or taking in anyone else’s energy. Ok I digress. I also mean balance in terms of sticking to my health and fitness routine with doing things that are good for my soul.
  2. The people I surround myself to. It ties into a point I made relating to balance. It is so important to have positive people around me and not anyone toxic. I am beyond grateful for all the amazing friends and family I have in my life.

Q:  Wow, in the question above, it is surprising that “money” was not in the response. Why is that?
A: Huh, wouldn’t you know it? I am actually surprised because I do get stressed about money these days. Not because I am in any dire financial situation(yet), but the unknown of how I am going to start earning again (and how much) can freak a girl out.

Having said that, I guess though it is because money comes and money goes. And I have had many years of having plenty of it to do as I wish that will tie me over for the time being in terms of experiences and memories. I also am confident that despite having freak outs about money, I will start earning  it again.

And to the point above, I know that money is not everything. Having the security at my job and being paid regularly regardless of how little or how much I worked,  was wonderful, I will not lie. But I walked away from it because clearly  it is not everything.

Q: You have travelled to so many countries, about 30 perhaps? Which do you want to go back to?
A:
OMG Guatemala. I would go back to Lake Atitlan in a heartbeat. Being around so much gorgeous nature and so much spirituality, is something that always warms my heart when I think about it. It also was a yoga retreat which is ironic because if you know me, you know how much I really do not enjoy yoga. Despite that though, I experienced so many unique things.

Q: Are you still selling ketones? (For the record, I legit get asked this a few times a week).
A: Yes but more behind the scenes. It is not an income generator for me and I decided to do it more for fun (and finance my own ketone supply). I LOVE the products and being in ketosis. I still sell to people, I just do not post as often as I used to. It started to feel too salesy and icky. And the thing is too, I rather spend time promoting myself for my own business. Boom!

Q: What is the name of your business?
A: Patience, my friend. I’m hoping to launch my website over the next few weeks and that will be the big business name reveal.

Q: What foods can you not live without?
A: Avocados obviously which also means guacamole. Which leads to burritos (especially breakfast burritos). I would be so sad if I became allergic. Please god, don’t ever let that happen! And almond milk. Being lactose intolerant is super limiting and almond milk has been a savior. Oh, and those delicious vegan ice cream sandwiches at Sage, which I am completely craving right now and it is taking every ounce of self -control to not get in my car now and go.

Q: Who are your favorite people on the planet?
A: My nieces and nephews. I mean, I know I shouldn’t have favorites but well… They are adorable, loving, funny and always surprising me. And they make me want to be the best person in the world. I do not get to see them nearly enough so I cherish every little moment with them.

Q: Last question. What are 3 things about you that people may not know?
A: I am an award winning parallel parker, I am skilled at picking things up with my toes, and I can only wink my left eye.

You Do Not Have to be Ellen DeGeneres to Be Inspiring

Foreward: Guys for the record, I adore Ellen.

With my recent “little” changes in life (i.e. leaving a corporate job to start my own business), I am constantly humbled by the support I am receiving. I know I have said it like a thousand times but it needs to be said. Not to toot my own horn but to remind us ALL of a few really key, mind blowing things. Ok mind blowing may be an exaggeration. Let’s say reverberating then.

Someone I have come to know through Facebook sent me a very endearing message. While this is not someone I have met in “real life”, I do believe in the power of connecting with people even if it’s in cyber space somewhere.  Anyways, he reached out to me today to tell me this:

Doesn’t mean much to you but I’m proud of you. Happy to see you chasing your dreams. Honored to call you a friend.

Ok so first things first… I do not think we should EVER diminish the value that our words have on someone else. We under estimate the power or impact we can have on someone else just by taking 4.3 seconds to type a genuine message. (Which also is the case with messages that are mean spirited. Pick your words carefully).

When we speak from the heart, the message is heard loud and clear. If I just got a generic message like “good luck in your endeavors” then yeah perhaps I would not have thought much of it. For anyone to take the time, even if it takes 4.3 seconds to do, it’s still 4.3 seconds that someone took to send love and support. Which I don’t care who you are, like me, you need it.

Which also leads me to my next point.  When you have news, share it. I know for many of us, we are private (as am I with certain topics and details). But it’s like there’s this idea of shared energy or something. When you are excited, happy, unstoppable, that is what you are putting out there and so that is what you get back. Energy is infectious and when you have things happening, I say share share share! The love and support you will receive in return will only manifest your dreams and ideas that much faster. I can tell you the more people I share my plans and accomplishments and hopes and desires with, the more open I feel. And so it is no wonder I am getting validation from the most unexpected people telling ME I am an inspiration.

Which leads me to my next point. I have to say, being told I am inspiring has a whole lot of pressure attached to it. Knowing I am a person of interest (guys I am kidding. My ego is not that big)… Seriously though, knowing that my choices and actions are inspiring anyone humbles me like nothing I have ever experienced. The pressure kicks in because I do have fears which are scary to be exposing. Like what if I do not pass my Personal Training certification after posting about it for 3 months?  Or what if I launch a business that that flops? How is that inspiring?

The thing is though, I do have those thoughts for like a split second (which yeah happens more than just from time to time), I have to remind myself that like the idea of shared energy, if I keep fearing it, I am putting it out to the universe that I will fail. Which is NOT an option. So I instead shift my thinking to I WILL  pass my certification (which will not just happen by luck. I will be putting in the time studying and getting prepared). My coaching business will be successful, fulfilling, magical and inspiring. It is all about mindset. There is no room for negative thinking.

I also am realizing from my friend’s message today that the idea of being inspiring is not about being perfect. Being inspiring means being real. It’s being honest. It’s being human. It’s ok to have triumphs and it is also ok to fall. Nobody is perfect and being inspired by anyone that is seemingly perfect is just disappointment waiting to happen. I am not pretending that I know exactly what I am doing. I know what I may do today. I do not even know literally what I am doing tomorrow. This is why I am inspiring people. I am truly taking a road to a destination that is somewhat lucid yet there is literally no playbook or road map to get me there. I am trusting in myself and timing and the universe to guide me. I put on my big girl pants every day (well except the days I need my neighbor to come over and kill a water bug for me) and I just do.  That is why people find me to be inspiring.

And another thing about that. We all have the ability to do what I am doing. I am no different than you. In fact, I am probably very much like you. It took me years and a whole lot of stress and anxiety to get to a point where I accepted that I needed to make a change in a really big way. It is just getting to that point that is separating me from you or anyone else. As my niece would say, I am being brave. You can too.

 

 

Being on a New Journey Gives New Perspective: 8 Liberating Lessons

I thought moving across country would be the biggest change of my life, but that is peanuts compared to taking the most gigantic leap of faith ever to pursue a new career. These last few months have been full of more highs than lows. I may be a little too excited as my colleagues told me, “You are so happy, it’s actually annoying.” It all is reminding me though of how important it is to do the following to truly reach a place of change and happiness.

  1. Be honest with yourself.Know what your skills are and know when you feel like you are “faking” it. It’s cool to do that short term. I have done it, but it has left me feeling a bit like an imposter though. Like I could be an Implementation Analyst or an Associate Director but at what point are people going to realize I am not meant for these jobs?  It is not that I am incapable of them. It is just that it is not where my heart is. When those feelings became harder to ignore, that’s when you know something has to change.
  2. If something peaks your interest, no matter what it is, investigate it. It may lead you to something you want to do or it may be part of an elimination tactic. Either way, it is to your benefit to at least learn more about something before ruling it or out or pursuing it.I know I have met health coaches of different sorts over the years, and every time, something inside me lit up like oh maybe I want to do that. But of course, as you know by now, I ignored that for years. And here I am, almost two decades into my “career” that I finally feel ready to acknowledge them.
  1. We worry so much about going into financial debt to pursue a dream that instead we go into emotional debt. (C­­heesy I know but stay with me here). We fear the financial and believe me, I COMPLETELY understand that.  We stay at a job or a career because the thought of either spending money on more schooling (or to get a business going) or taking a pay cut stresses us out more than the possibility of what we could have. We keep our cushy job or paycheck, but slowly, our mental state and happiness deteriorates. We check in each day to a job physically, but mentally we are checked out. It just is not sustainable. At some point, when we are ready, the fear of the unknown actually becomes enticing and freeing. Honor that.

    4.You are never going to be 100% ready to make a transition
    . I am certain if I waited for that to happen, I would never be able to leave my current job or company. The decision to leave may be the hardest pill to swallow, but once that decision has been made, it is liberating. You actually can devote 100% of your time and efforts to pursuing what your heart desires.5. We are greeted with opportunities that seem to make no sense or do not fit in to what our “plan is” yet they seem like they are meant for us to take. It is often hard to accept these opportunities and for many of us, we don’t. We have no idea what we are missing out on. When I joined Pruvit, it did not make any “sense” to me rationally at all at the time, but emotionally or mentally, I knew it was something I should be doing. I had no experience doing any kind of community based marketing nor did I even think I would be any good at it. Yet, I just felt a strong attraction to it. And so when I decided to pursue it, despite how challenging it has been, I have not doubted that it is part of my journey.And really, what “plan” did I have that even made sense anymore? I was at a point in my career where I maybe could have stayed at it and been successful, but then again, to my 1st point earlier, how long would I really be able to fake it and sustain it?

    So yeah, signing up to be an Independent Promoter on the outside seemed ridiculous or crazy, but in actuality it has been another one of my best decisions ever. It is guiding me to my ultimate destiny of coaching.

    6. When it comes to who you surround yourself with, know there is a difference between those who want to help you and those who want to sabotage you.


    I realize that may sound extreme so let me explain. I do not mean that people will deliberately try to kill your spark or idea. I just mean that people often react based on their own fears. Many people come from a place of practicality where your plan seems outrageous (and nothing they would ever do). So they may advise you against it or give you all the reasons why you should not pursue your plan.

    Versus people who believe in you and your talents and your dreams and they whole heartedly support you. They want you to find that passion and happiness. Many of them have walked in your shoes before and will even advise you on how to prepare for your journey. I have gotten far more of this type of reaction than the former, fortunately.

    You want to find the people who give you reasons and guidance to follow your dreams and not those who will find every argument for why you should not. (Maybe this is what all the kids mean by finding your tribe).

  1. No matter what job we have, we learn transferable skills. They may show themselves in different forms or different scenarios, but the skills are the same. Learning how to communicate whether it is with peers or subordinates, those are the same skills you need for clients or customers or patients. Time management, project management, analysis, coaching. They are all transferrable.
  2. If you are passionate about something, TALK ABOUT IT. I feel like ever since it has been announced that I will be leaving my job, I have had more conversations about my passion and business ideas than ever before. I used to always worry that if I talked too much about it, I would put my job at jeopardy. People would see me light up and realize that was missing when I talked about work. And there is truth in that, but the reality is, people can still do a job and have interests elsewhere. The point is though, we should be proud of the many facets we have. Our jobs do not always define us so we do not need to downplay our interests.The unexpected thing is, I actually feel more bonded to many people than I did before because it’s like I am being far more authentic. People are learning more about me and likewise, I am learning about them. How many times do we get on calls or join meetings with people and we know virtually nothing about them? We do not know that a woman is a 17 year cancer survivor. Or that another woman started a walking club in the basement of an office which lead to one of its members losing 100 lbs.

 

For me, realizing all these important lessons over the last few months has been the validation I have needed. It is so easy to get comfortable or just content in life. And maybe that is ok. Maybe for some that is enough. For me though, it no longer is. I am grateful for everything that has led me to this moment as it has given me such new perspective, and I am humbled to be able to share that with you.

 

Dear Universe: I Got This

Foreword:  Can I first take a minute to say THANK YOU? I have been confident in my decision to leave my corporate ­­job and start a new journey. I expected SOME support from my close friends and family. I had NO IDEA that the support would literally come from every single person I have talked to, interacted with and who have been following my posts (and last week’s blog). You would think that as an adult hearing another adult say “I am proud of you” would not give you warm fuzzies, but guess what? It sure as shit does. Having so much validation from everyone has not just humbled me, but has given me such a confidence boost. It is also keeping me accountable and motivated because I feel like this is not just my journey, but something bigger that is going to inspire many people.

Also I really need to work on an elevator pitch for what it is I want to do. For now, let’s just say a fitness coach.

I believe that many of us approach change with practicality. We like to have a backup plan, Plan B, planned out just as well as Plan A. So it is really not surprising that quite a few people have told me (upon learning that I am venturing into something very new, very different), “Well you have great skills and if your plan does not work out the way you want it to, you can always come back here or find another corporate job.” I am very grateful that I am respected and valued enough to have that option, yet I am not allowing myself to even entertain it, not even for one micro second.

I am a strong believer that what you put out to the universe is what you get back. So if I even tell myself or I tell someone else or I tell the universe straight up that I am ok with returning to a job similar to the one I am leaving, then I am essentially giving myself permission to not succeed at my journey ahead. I cannot give myself a fall back plan that  involves returning to a job that does not inspire me. I have to believe in myself and my abilities (and divine timing) that I am on the path meant for me. I have to believe that I CAN (and will!) succeed at my dream. I have to believe that I do not belong in a traditional corporate environment and that I should not ever go back again (unless it is because they want me to coach their employees for healthier living! #shamelessplug).

I have nothing but excitement for what is ahead of me, which if you know me, speaks volume. I am not someone who typically goes with the flow or just “trusts”. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am, and I am choosing to focus on the positive. By giving myself permission to return to the corporate life is like telling myself I may not be good enough to do what I want to do. I would never say that to a friend or my sister or a niece or a nephew that they “may” succeed. I would tell them, “Absolutely! You got this!” So why would I tell myself anything less?

I had an epiphany watching a recent Facebook live that one of my respected leaders at Pruvit (the company I am an independent promoter for) posted.  She talked about how when she herself chose to take a leap of faith to promote, she had a lot on the line financially. She really did not even have the money for the small investment to get started. She did it though, and she told herself that she would and HAS to sell the product she was investing in. And she did. Pretty damn quickly too.

When she was telling that story, I realized I had the complete opposite mindset when I started promoting. I told myself that the worst case scenario was that if I did not sell the initial batch ketones I had to purchase that it was just a little bit of money and no major setback. And guess what? It took me months to completely sell them. Why? Because I gave myself an out. I told myself “it is ok if I do not succeed.” And after hearing my leader talk and having many conversations this past week with many people about my sort seemingly crazy but admirable career change, I realized that I need to ditch that thinking, with ketones and with my future business. I need to tell myself that I HAVE to do this. And I will. I believe that 100%. And I have to do it without a backup plan or contingency thinking.

I also think that we give ourselves permission to not succeed because it is easier on our ego. It is far harder to give something everything we have and not succeed than it is to maybe give half our energy and fail. Because then, it’s like, “Well I didn’t really commit to it.” Or “I knew it was risky, so I’m ok that I did not do well.”  If I am walking away from a solid income and stability, why on earth would I want to take any chances that I cannot replenish that? Girlfriend would have to be crazy. Which I am not. I am practical and sensible, yes. And even pragmatic. In this scenario though, where it is my livelihood and more importantly my happiness and mental sanity, I am completely committing to this. I want to. And I have to.

Committing to something obviously is not solely a way of thinking. I still have a lot of hard work cut out for me. I have to commit every fiber of me to this. Probably just as importantly, I have to work on a little thing too called confidence. If I believe in myself and my plans, then others will too. (People snuff out doubt and weakness like hounds, and that just comes back around in the universe). For the first time in my life, career wise, I am being very brave. I have no room for giving myself an out, even if it is hardly detectable.  Instead, I will stay focused, stay positive, and hustle my buns off. Because there is a lot of amazing, fulfilling, beyond- my dreams success waiting for me.